


Not a yes, not a no.

by QueenCarol



Series: Fighting For The Moments [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Carzekiel, F/M, the walking dead season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 21:45:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16333802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenCarol/pseuds/QueenCarol
Summary: Not two hours ago Ezekiel had almost died, now he’s riding besides her, his hand extended, a question hanging between them.Tie in: TWD s9e01 New Beginnings





	Not a yes, not a no.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> Carol Peletier, King Ezekiel, Henry, Rick Grimes, and any other recognizable character, dialogue or plot of The Walking Dead belong to AMC Network and Skybound Entertainment, Image Comics and Robert Kirkman.
> 
> In no way is the author claiming ownage of any of the characters nor is there any economical/monetary gain at any time. The author is extremely respectful of the original creators and is willing to take down this work of fiction if requested. 
> 
> No copyright infringement intended.

Birds chirp all around them, singing a melodious song only they can understand. The vibrant green of nature contrasts painfully with what she feels inside even now that the danger has passed. The slow gallop of the horse beneath her should have calmed her, to sooth her frayed nerves, but still she feels on edge.

Carol turns her head slightly, her eyes half close against the brightness of the sun. Ezekiel rides besides her, an expression on his face she can’t quite place. She knows he has felt the close call as strongly as she has, if not more, but his face is not one of fear. Instead he has a resolute look in his eyes.

She almost lost him.

The plan had been simple; go to the Capitol and raid the past to secure the future. But plans, as plans tend to do, get changed, obstacles occur and they found a great transparent one. They’d been as careful as they could be with the limited resources they had, but the glass floor was not designed to withstand the weight of the wagon and they’d almost paid dearly.

She can still remember the cracking of the floor beneath her feet, the way Rick had cried out for them to move, the look of panic on everyone’s faces as they tried to get the plow out of the way. She can still feel the hard shove Ezekiel had made to push her and the plow out of harms way, leaving himself in danger.

She had landed hard against the floor, the real floor. She’d twisted back, practically clawing her way to the edge, not caring if she got hurt. She needed to see, she needed to know. Her heart practically stopped as she saw Ezekiel, she felt cold, frozen.

Ezekiel fought as he dangled and that’s all she needed to see before her mind went a mile an hour. She’d called out to him and told him to hang on. She had scampered for a blanket to cover the edge of the glass so he could climb up. She’d watch helpless as the man she loved, unable to help him, unable to do anything else but watch as her family struggled to keep him alive. The moment his hand touched the edge she helped him up, her nails practically digging into the leather of his coat.

As soon as he was out of danger she wanted to scream to him, she wanted to slap him, she wanted to demand he never do something like that again. Instead she moved towards him, her hands grasping his arms as the color came back to his face, her eyes sweeping over him to make sure he wasn’t bitten or scratched. When he passed her inspection she embraced him, repeating over and over, under her breath. “It’s okay! You are okay.”

They’d always tried to keep the display of affection to a minimum whenever they were on a mission, but at that moment she couldn’t care less who saw them. He was alive, breathing under her hands, so she pressed her lips against him once, then twice, then molded herself to his body.

He was real. He was alive. He was hers.

“Why’d you do that?” She’d demanded. “Why did you push me instead of trying to get out yourself?”

He cupped her cheek, bringing her close until their foreheads were pressed together. She could feel his fast breath against her face, could feel his thundering heartbeat under her hand. “I would rather die a thousand deaths than let any danger befall on you.” He mumbled, still trying to catch his breath.

“Please don’t.” She begged him, her nose brushing against his cheek, nuzzling against him. 

She’d kissed him again, stealing another moment just between them, before returning to the mission. 

Eventually they managed to bring out the wagon, the plow and the seeds and they made their way back. Daryl took point in his motorcycle and they rode behind, making sure to always keep a free path behind them in case they needed to do a quick exit.

They rode side by side, their horses comfortably trotting together. Had they not just defied death, this would have been like one of the horseback rides they enjoyed back at Kingdom, where they rode in silence simply enjoying nature.

Today nature mocks her.

It unnerves her.

She turns to look at him, to check if he still has the same expression on his face only to find him staring. His expression hasn’t changed and he looks at her with adoration and a new sense of being.

“What?” She asks self-consciously.

“You...”. He pauses for a moment to let out a breathy sigh. “Thou art the most gorgeous Lady in the land.”

“Stop it.” She demands with a smirk. 

She remains silent as she watches the three young men in front of them, talking away without a care in the world. 

She can still feel his gaze on her. It isn’t a bad feeling, she actually enjoys it, knowing that he’s looking on her to check on her well-bring, to check if she’s smiling, or simply to observe her. It’s almost as if he can’t believe she is alive and with him.

“I was scared back there.” He finally admits, his voice still a little shaky.

“I was too.” Carol replies before turning to look at him, her hand itching to just reach across and take his hand. She can see there is still a slight tremor in his hand but she isn’t sure if it is because the adrenaline is finally leaving him or if it is something else. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Whatever it is that is on his mind she knows that she is about to hear it.

“Made me remember something, ‘ve been taking for granted lately.” She can see that he’s digging into his glove for something, something small. “Can’t wait all life, so...”

She instantly knows what it is. 

“No...” she tries to interrupt but he presents to her the ring anyhow.

“...Will you marry me?”

He did not just ask her to marry him.

Not after she almost lost him.

Is he crazy?

When they had started their relationship they’d had a conversation in which she told him not to get his hopes up. She loved him but marriage was out of the question for her. No matter how much time passed she knew she wouldn’t make that mistake again. 

The love she felt for him at that time paled in comparison to what she currently feels. She loves him deeply, unequivocally. Ezekiel has showed her that he is nothing like Ed ever was, she feels safe with him, loved by him. 

Suddenly the thought of marriage isn’t as bad as it once was. She wants to say yes, wants to accept his marriage proposal right away. Perhaps they can make it work, living day by day, moment by moment. But why did he have to ask right after a near death experience? Why couldn’t he wait until they were home and not while riding a horse?

“Put that thing away.” She begs him. The last thing she wants right now is for him to propose. It’s not that she doesn’t want to marry him, she just doesn’t want it to be a reaction to him almost dying. She doesn’t want him to tie his life to hers then regret it like Ed had done. 

Seeing that he still has his hand extended and his eyes maintain the hope for a ‘yes’, she tries to wrangle with her feeling of hesitation, but they still comes out winning. “It will snag on everything!” She declares, but even then she can see that he knows her well; he knows she is a hands on person, a practical person, and has chosen a ring whose diamonds are embedded in the actual metal and not something with a protruding rock.

She’s trying to find reasons not to marry him but she comes up empty handed. He’s a good man, a great man, a man who has devoted his life to making her happy, to giving her a sense of belonging, a reason to live and to stay. 

Why did he have to ask her now?

“I told you not to ask me that.” She reminds him as a last resort.

“I know.” He admits, his hand still extended. 

“Specially after something like this.” He lowers his hand in a sign of defeat, something flashing across his face. Whatever it is brings pain to her very soul. As much as he hates when she isn’t happy, she hates when he feels the all encompassing defeat.

“And this isn’t happening on a horse.” She adds, her small way of signaling to him that she’s not entirely opposed to the idea, just the timing. 

Ezekiel seems to understand her for he closes his hand around her ring and lets out a chuckle. “I love you.” 

She can’t help but let her lips curl a little, just a tiny bit.

“And I always will.” He adds.

She could strangle him. He should have waited until they were home, calm, secure and having forgotten about what had happened; he could have asked her then and she could have kissed him. Instead she’s stuck on her beautiful horse.

“I’ll keep this until you are ready.” He declares, already putting away the ring.

For a second she wants to jump off the horse and demand he bring it back, but she knows it’s for the best. She has done so many things in her life with fear and hesitation, when she marries Ezekiel she wants to be free of it all; free of the fear of almost losing him, free of the hesitation of taking the throne at his side and all the responsibilities it entails, free of the last thing that’s holding her back, that thing that is deep inside of her, that thing she’s been chipping away at slowly with the help, love and support of Ezekiel and Henry.

She narrows her eyes at Ezekiel, knowing full well that he would truly wait an eternity if that’s what it took.

In front of them, the caravan slows down to a stop. The wagon has gotten stuck. 

Carol turns to look at Ezekiel who is already dismounting his horse. She dismounts her own horse then guides it towards Ezekiel’s. A quick look around tells her everyone is more concerned with the wagon than with them. She motions to Ezekiel so that he’ll come closer, then presses herself to him? Her arms wrapping around his waist.

“Hey.” She mumbles under her breath.

Ezekiel smiles at her. “Hi.” He whispers before leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. 

“King Ezekiel!” She hears Rick calling from far away.

Ezekiel pecks her lips once more then takes a step back but she stops him by tightening her arms around him. “It’s not a no.” She whispers, dropping all pretense of annoyance. 

“I know.” He promises.

“Just a... not right now. Just a...”. 

She struggles to find the right words but Ezekiel puts her out of her misery by pressing a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. “I know. I will wait until my Queen is ready, even if it takes a thousand dreams.”

He moves to take a step back again and this time she lets him go but not before she steals another kiss, his beard tickling her face. They get a few hollers from their family, a few calls to find a room, but Carol doesn’t care.

It is not a yes as he wished to receive, but it is not the definitive no that a younger Carol would have given.

Meanwhile she will work on stripping away the last of her hesitation, the last of her fear, the last of her walls.

After all, she now has a place by Ezekiel’s side to call home.


End file.
